


A Shitty Red Phoenix

by Akumeoi



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Deadpool being Deadpool, Explicit Language, Fix-It, Fourth Wall, Gen, Hydra Steve Rogers, M/M, Minor Violence, Rated for Deadpool's Language, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, slight stucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 16:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7113592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akumeoi/pseuds/Akumeoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by <a href="http://spacepunkstevie.tumblr.com/post/144984902235/the-only-way-ill-accept-the-hydracap-story-line"> this post</a> on tumblr. "America's favourite fighting trashcan helps Bucky convince Steve not to be a fucking Nazi." (A Hydra!Cap fix-it via fourth wall breaking).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Shitty Red Phoenix

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS IMPORTANT - This is one hell of a messed up AU, because I've only ever seen the movies. This means that for me, Bucky and Steve have never met Deadpool before. Also so like I wrote this on an overnight flight while sick with a head cold and also didn't edit it. I think I got Deadpool down pretty well, but I've never written Bucky or Steve before so I hope they're not too OOC. So if it sounds like crap... sorry?  
> I'm so weak to Bucky calling Steve 'Stevie'.  
> By the way, I totally made up the whole barber's shop thing. I don't know where the "closest Hydra base" is and I don't care. I legitimately do not give a shit. I don't want to waste a second of thought on anything Hydra related, thanks

Captain America has joined Hydra and things have gone to shit. Bucky didn’t spend 50 years of his life asleep inside a giant freezer just to let some asshole Nazis corrupt the mind and soul of his best friend, and he wants to do something about it. He knows something’s fishy here. Steve would never join Hydra of his own free will. Something has to be done. 

Most of the other Avengers are in a state of shock and have nothing helpful to tell him, but Black Widow has an idea. She suggests some kind of insane miracle worker by the name of Deadpool.

And so Bucky goes to find this Deadpool, who apparently lives in a tiny basement apartment in a sketchy part of town. Bucky wouldn't care if Deadpool lived in a floating garbage patch in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, he is that desperate. 

"Well who do we have here?" says Deadpool as he answers the door. Although he can't see his eyes behind the mask, Bucky gets the impression he's being looked over intently. Are Deadpool's eyes lingering on his crotch? He must be imagining things.

"Bucky Barnes," Bucky introduces himself.

"Never heard of him," Deadpool says. "Are you selling something? You look like a car salesman."

"Not selling a thing," Bucky replies, wondering how Deadpool could have gotten 'car salesman' from a guy with a robotic arm. Nat had said that Deadpool was a character, and boy had she been right. "How about the Winter Soldier?"

"Nope," says Deadpool, going to shut the door. 

"Wait, I need your help!" Bucky quickly shoves his shoulder between the door and the frame. Deadpool grabs his hand and pulls. Caught off balance, he stumbles into the apartment, and the door slams shut behind him.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" Deadpool says, in a tone of exaggerated confusion. He immediately disappears into another room, and Bucky follows, unsure of what else to do. He finds himself in the kitchen. Deadpool points at a chair.

"Sit."

Bucky sits. Deadpool, meanwhile, is pirouetting around the kitchen, producing a teapot, two cups and saucers, and a plastic litre bottle of Coca-cola. The Cola goes in the teapot, the teacups go onto saucers, and everything but the half-full bottle goes on the table. Bucky finds himself looking down at a gently fizzing teacup full of Coca-cola. Deadpool sits down across from him and holds out a small bowl. "Sugar?"

"Uh," says Bucky.

"Didn't think so," Deadpool replies, setting down the bowl and steepling his fingers together. "So what can I do ya for? Handjob? Blowjob? Assplay? Face-sitting?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bucky says, trying very hard not to lose his temper. He wonders if Deadpool is insulting him or just insane. "Listen, pal, they told me you were a superhero."

"Oh, I'm not a hero, I'm just a very sympathetic villain. I know, easy mistake to make. Wanna hear my tragic backstory?"

"No, I want you to help me," Bucky growls, just about at the end of his patience. "Captain America..." He stops. This is so hard to say. It's hard to say, because it's a lie. It can't be true. It isn't true. Bucky won't allow it. And Steve wouldn't either, if he were in his right mind. 

Deadpool just stares at him, impassive, and takes a loud slurp from his teacup through the mask. 

"Captain America... Steve... has joined Hydra," Bucky manages to get out.

Deadpool immediately breaks into peals of laughter. "C-captain ah-ah-America, in H-Hydra! That's h-hilarious! Oh my god, H-Hydra." He wipes an imaginary tear of laughter from the outside of his mask. "You're funny, Bucky Barnes. I like you."

Slowly, Bucky stands up. Then he slams his hands down on the table and stares Deadpool straight in the eyes, hidden though they are behind Deadpool's mask. "I'm not. Fucking. Joking," Bucky snarls. Maybe it was a waste of time coming here, but Bucky isn't giving up without a fight. He's desperate.

"You're serious," Deadpool repeats in a disbelieving tone.

"I'm serious," Bucky says. There's a very long, tense moment, during which Bucky thinks Deadpool might start laughing again. But he doesn't. He just looks up at Bucky with his head slightly cocked, then stands and repeats Bucky's gesture, slamming his hands down on the table so hard the teacups rattle.

"That's bullshit," he says. Then he sits down again. "That's bullshit. Cap would never do something like that. Who do I have to beat up? Also, drink your Cola."

Slowly, Bucky sits. Before he can reply, Deadpool goes off again. "Man, I don't fucking believe this. That guy is my idol. He can't just be evil. Who's writing this garbage? Is it Nick Spencer? It's Nick Spencer, isn't it? Well, fuck that guy. I'm gonna fuck him up."

Bucky has no idea what Deadpool is saying, and he clenches his fists.

"Deadpool-" he starts.

"Don't worry," Deadpool says, in a calm, is not serious voice. "We can fix this."

Bucky hasn't a clue why, but he thinks he believes him. Oh god, he wants to believe him so badly. Ever since the words "Hail Hydra" crossed Steve's lips, Bucky has been living in a state of gut-churning misery and despair. If this red-clad foulmouthed sex maniac can help him, he'll get down on his knees and beg for his help before he watches Steve act like a Nazi for one more day. So he picks up his teacup and drinks his Cola.

\---

Half an hour later they're out of the apartment, heading to the nearest Hydra base - which is where Steve was last seen. This one is fairly small, disguised as a barber's shop on the first floor, with apartments above. Deadpool throws wide the doors like he owns the place. It's completely empty, except for a few "hairdressers", all of whom are holding scissors, razors, or knives, and looking distinctly unfriendly.

"Hello, naughty children, it's murder time," says Deadpool, and shoots one guy through the forehead. Another Hydra operative throws a knife at him but he dodges, and Bucky pounces on the guy running towards him and starts strangling him to death with his metal hand. The two of them make short work of their enemies. Then they open the door into the "staff room" and find a very suspiciously shiny, futuristic elevator hidden inside it.

"Oh, goody," Deadpool says as Bucky examines the buttons inside the elevator. None of them make any sense to him, because they're all unlabelled.

"So which one do we push?" Bucky says.

"None of them," Deadpool replies, hauling Bucky back out of the elevator. "We're going to wait for him right here. Go lock the door and close the blinds."

Bucky does as he says. When he comes turns around, he sees Deadpool _patting the air_ , as if he's caressing an extremely large, invisible tiger. 

"Now what?" Bucky says. Deadpool doesn't reply, just pushes him out of the way and continues fluttering his hands. Bucky watches with ~~steve-like~~ saint-like levels of patience, until Deadpool lets out a pleased exclamation and stops, palm held flat out in front of him.

"Found it," he sings. Bucky resists the temptation to say, "Found what, goddamnit" because somehow he already knows he won't get an answer. As he watches, Deadpool runs his hands over an invisible vertical surface, until he reaches the edge of the room. There, he wiggles his fingers around a bit, until he makes some kind of thrusting motion with his fingers and shoves both of his hands forward into nothing.

A thin sliver of white light appears. Deadpool tugs forward, towards Bucky, and the sliver of whiteness grows. The noises Deadpool makes as he grunts with exertion wouldn't be out of place in a porno flick.

"Help me out here," Deadpool pants, and Bucky grabs the edge of - whatever it is they're pulling - and helps. Together they push and pull and pull and push, until the - whatever - slides back, and the whole front of the shop vanishes into a vast white nothing. It's like someone hung a perfect sheet of white paper across where the shuttered windows and the door used to be, a giant sheet of paper so white it hurt Bucky's eyes. For a moment Bucky feels very, very cold, and a flash of panic shoots through him. His arm aches, deep in the non-existent bone.

"What the hell is that?" he snaps. Deadpool, seemingly unaware of Bucky's discomfort, indicates the white wall with a dramatic flourish.

"I present to you, the panel border," he says. Bucky scowls at him and says nothing, so Deadpool hastens to explain. "You know, we're in a comic. That's the border between the panels. Anybody who goes in there is a free individual. Well, come on. You could at least applaud or something."

He's obviously proud of himself, but Bucky has no idea how this helps him or Steve. He keeps scowling.

"You're not even going to smile?" Deadpool whines.

"What do we do with this?" Bucky says through clenched teeth. 

"Were you always this angry or were you abused as a child?" Deadpool asks, and that's it. Bucky launches himself at Deadpool, fastening both hands around his throat.

It takes him a moment to realise they've been launched through the white wall, and are now lying on a flat, white plane. In a panic, Bucky scrambles to his feet. In every direction, a white infinity stretches. In front of him is the barber's shop/Hydra base, framed by white on all sides. It has a strange, two-dimensional quality to it. Bucky should be more afraid, but... for some reason he feels calm. Calmer, in fact, than he can remember feeling in a long, long time. And then he realises that his memories themselves are different than how they normally are, and... and... it's overwhelming. Bucky can remember everything that's ever happened to him with perfect clarity. There are gaps in his memory, but they're not from places when he's had his memory wiped. No. Somehow, Bucky knows that in those spaces _nothing_ happened to him, and that's why there is no memory. He is relieved to find that he has killed... well. A lot fewer people than he thought he had.

Deadpool has gotten to his feet and is standing beside Bucky, massaging his neck.

"Anybody ever tell you that you have a really strong grip?" Deadpool says. "No offense, but I don't think I'd ever want to get a handjob from you."

Bucky laughs, calmly, and Deadpool stares at him like he's a two-headed hamster.

"I didn't plan for us to leave the comic, but I think you really needed it, buddy," he says, shaking his head.

"Do we just wait here for Steve?" Bucky asks. "That's your plan, right? Make a lot of noise and then camp out in their base until they send someone to deal with us?"

"You got it!" Deadpool says, sounding genuinely proud. "Only took you about 500 words."

"What?"

"Nothing. Oh!"

Deadpool exclaims as the elevator door opens. Out steps - Steve Rogers, dressed in some ridiculous black and red getup with a Hydra symbol on the belt. The sight is so vile it makes Bucky physically nauseous, in spite of the calming effect of this white place. Accompanying Steve are five Hydra goons.

"Bet I can kill all five of those octopus guys by myself with this machine gun," Deadpool says, lifting a weapon that was definitely not there a second ago.

"Be my guest," says Bucky. The Hydra agents have produced their own weapons, but their bullets vaporize harmlessly as soon as they reach the white wall. Steve sees this, and doesn't bother shooting the ugly, futuristic-looking handgun he's been equipped with. Instead, he approaches Bucky - who is /not/ holding a weapon - as the five Hydra agents bleed out behind him. Deadpool slings the machine gun casually over his shoulder, and Bucky looks straight into Steve's face. A bitter sadness wells up inside him. Steve's face is guarded, unreadable, but Bucky can see the near-imperceptible trace of suffering written on it.

"Don't make me fight you, Bucky," Steve says quietly. Bucky says nothing, and waits. Steve steps forward. And Bucky reaches out and grabs him and yanks, and Steve stumbles forward into the white place with him and Deadpool. Steve swings around and goes to punch him, but Bucky ducks under his arm and uses the momentum to throw both of them to the ground. Steve rolls, yanking himself from Bucky's grip, and Bucky finds himself flat on his back with Steve looking down at him, arm raised again.

The blow doesn't fall.

"Buck?" Steve says, sounding afraid. "What is this place?"

"Let me up," Bucky grumbles. Slowly, as if he's afraid Bucky will disappear, Steve sits up and looks around. Bucky looks over at Deadpool. "Thanks for the help, asshole," Bucky says, though Steve didn't really injure him. Deadpool shrugs.

"And here I thought you two were going to start kissing," he says innocently. Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Where are we?" Steve says again, gazing out into the Hydra base.

"The space between the panels," Bucky informs him. 

"What?" Steve says. 

"I don't know," Bucky says, since he had just been quoting Deadpool to begin with. He turns to look at Deadpool expectantly, but Deadpool is busy floating upside-down and eating a donut. When Deadpool notices that both Bucky and Steve are staring at him, he rolls upright, stuffing the rest of the donut into his face in a puff of white powdered sugar.

"How's it going? Still brainwashed?" he says cheerfully to Steve, who shakes his head.

"No, sir. Are you Deadpool? It's nice to meet you," he says, holding out his hand. Deadpool gasps and presses both hands to either side of his face in excitement. 

"I've always wanted to shake Captain America's hand!" he says, taking Steve's hand and shaking it firmly. "It's a pleasure, an honour." Steve looks bemused, but he lets Deadpool shake his hand for a full thirty seconds. When he finally lets go, Deadpool holds his hand close to his face and whispers dramatically, "I am never washing this hand again."

Bucky and Steve look at each other, and Bucky feels a rush of relief. Like before, he can see what Steve's thinking again. Somehow, in this white place, the horrible thing that Steve did has been erased, and the bond between them is restored. This is how it is supposed to be. 

"Excuse me," Steve says, and Deadpool stops muttering to himself and looks up.

"Right," Deadpool says. "Real life is a comic book, and now we are out of it. Any questions?"

Bucky and Steve look at each other again.

"If real life is a comic book," Steve starts, and Bucky has a feeling he's only saying that to placate Deadpool, "how can we exist outside of it?"

"Now that's a very interesting question," says Deadpool, suddenly sporting a necktie and a pair of glasses. He gestures to them. "I'm a teacher now. Can you tell?"

"Yes," says Bucky quickly, wanting him to just get on with it already.

"Oh goodie. Well, you as a character only exist in the comic, and in your movies and whatever, but you as a person exist outside of it."

Bucky is following so far.

"Y'know how you have fans? Like, fans of the comic?" Deadpool asks, but doesn't pause for an answer. "Well, everyone who reads the comic has an idea of you. And that idea couldn't exist without you, so it's not a whole other character. So when you leave the comic, you become the essence of yourself, made up of all the little pieces of what other people believe in. Because you have a lot of fans and not all of them see you the same way, right now you're made up of the lowest common denominator of ideas, so to speak. In other words, you are yourself. Get it?"

Bucky thinks he gets it, but Steve has screwed-up face of concentration on and is clearly struggling to understand.

"We're in the collective unconscious of anybody who ever read about us, right?" Bucky says.

"Excellent. Tomorrow we'll have a pop quiz," Deadpool says. "Anyone who passes gets a lollipop from inside the teacher's pants."

Steve snorts in amusement.

"Steve?" Bucky says, and Steve turns to him. Bucky must look concerned, because Steve's expression changes, falls a bit. He looks... well, sad. Instinctively, they step towards each other. 

"Did I really... join Hydra?" Steve says.

"That's why we're here," Bucky says, and Steve puts his head in his hands. Bucky feels the overwhelming urge to reach out and hug him. Instead, he puts one hand on Steve's shoulder. Behind him, Deadpool tiptoes out of the white place and into the Hydra base. The elevator pings.

"I know you would never do something like that. Not for real," Bucky says. "You're gonna double-cross them or something, right?"

"Yes," Steve says, putting his hand on Bucky's arm. "But it doesn't matter, Buck. How could I do that to you? How could I stand there and say - and pretend to support Hydra, when I know what it would do to you? To my country? To all the men I ever fought with?" 

Steve is more distressed than Bucky has ever seen him. He's actually tearing up with rage and betrayal. Bucky, too, feels like his heart is about to burst.

"It feels like it wasn't me who said it. It feels like someone else. But I know it was me, Bucky. I know it was me."

The anguish in Steve's voice is so strong that Bucky can't stand it. He grabs Steve's shoulders and pulls him in for a hug. For a moment he's fifteen years old, comforting tiny Steve from a nightmare or an asthma attack or a panic attack. But what's worse, this time, is that he knows exactly how Steve feels. Steve isn't the only one who knows what it's like to be made to do things against his will, terrible, terrible things. The Winter Soldier knows it too.

"Bucky, do you think it was God that did this?" Steve says. A fist clenches around Bucky's heart.

"No, Stevie," he says softly. "I think Deadpool was right, and it was just some idiot with a crayon."

For a moment, they both fall silent. Steve's broad frame is still trembling with emotion. Bucky is angry, but he shoves the feeling aside, because Steve needs him. 

"Do you think there's anything we can do?" Steve says hopelessly. 

"There has to be," Bucky says. Getting to talk like this with Steve, free, in a place where his mind isn't broken... it's more than he could have ever dared hope for. That gives him hope. Maybe Deadpool has more tricks up his sleeve. Bucky would believe it.

"Thanks, Buck," Steve says. They break apart and Steve wipes his eyes. Bucky turns, and sees Deadpool sitting posed on a small mountain of Hydra corpses on the other side of the white wall, looking extremely pleased with himself. 

"You done?" Deadpool calls. A hand twitches on the pile beside him, and he impales it without even looking.

"Yes," Steve says. "You?"

"Yep," says Deadpool. He pulls the knife out of the hand, wipes it on his own pants, gives the corpse pile a pat, and stands with a little hop. Then, he rejoins them outside the comic panel again.

"Let's go," he says, and holds out his hands. Bucky and Steve just look at him in confusion.

"Hey, come on. I've been tested. I don't have herpes. Just hold my hands already, numbnuts," Deadpool says. By now, Bucky has figured out that Deadpool actually does kinda know what he's doing, even if he can't or won't tell it to anyone else. So he takes Deadpool's right hand, and Steve, copying him, takes Deadpool's left. And then they start to rise, lifting up like Deadpool is some kind of shitty red phoenix. Or maybe they're not moving and it's all in Bucky's head, but the room they were just standing in front of has disappeared, and now they are surrounded on all sides by white. Bucky doesn't like it. The calming effect this place has on his mind can't completely mitigate the fear brought on by the ability it gives him to completely remember all the times he was cryogenically frozen. He takes a deep breath in through his nose and tries to stay calm.

Fortunately, Deadpool lets go quickly. He pirouettes 90 degrees and starts feeling up the air as he did before. It takes him a moment, but he finds the edge of the panel again, and pulls. To Bucky's surprise, another room is not revealed. Instead, it's a still image, about as tall as Bucky himself. It's a picture of Captain America saying Hail Hydra. And Bucky doesn't know how, but he knows this is the exact moment that Steve was forced to betray them.

"Why are we here?" he says, unable to keep the hope from his voice, but Steve only shakes his head.

"Vandalism," says Deadpool, producing a fat silver sharpie from his... somewhere. "Either of you guys wanna leave a little present for our faithful readers?"

"Just to be clear, we can't undo this?" Steve says.

"Sorry pal, no can do. The best thing we can get out of this shithole is a little personal amusement," Deadpool says, uncapping the sharpie. He holds it out, but Steve politely shakes his head, and Bucky just scowls and moves protectively closer to Steve.

"Suit yourself," Deadpool says. Under "Hail Hydra" he writes "April Fool's, bitches" and in the air off to the side of Captain America's head he draws a few dicks. After admiring his work for a few minutes, he adds "Deadpool was here" and "ps nick spencer is a cuntsucking dickwagon". 

"Do you think anyone will actually see that?" Bucky mutters to Steve.

"I almost hope so," Steve says, so Bucky wants to hope so too. But he is still having trouble wrapping his head around the whole "the world is a comic" thing, so it's hard.

"Next stop?" Deadpool says, apparently satisfied. This time, Bucky and Steve take his hands without any prompting.

"There's something a little bit homoerotic about this, don't you think?" Deadpool says when they stop.

"No?" Steve says, like it's a trick question.

"Just me then?"

"Yeah, just you," Bucky says. Deadpool shrugs, then does the spin-and-air-pat thing one last time.

"This is the end of the merry go round, kids," Deadpool huffs as he pulls open the panel. This time, a black symbol appears, tall as a hand-span, hovering in the air at about chest height. It looks... like a cursor. 

"What's that?" Steve asks. 

"That," Deadpool says proudly, "is a cursor. I've hacked into the internet."

Bucky can't help himself. "Yeah right," he says. Deadpool shrugs.

"Okay, fine. I got us into a fanfic. Before you culturally ignorant old geezers ask, that's a story written about another story, which in this case is your story. Get it? Got it? Good."

"So what?" Bucky insists.

"So we can communicate with all the fans who read about Captain America, isn't that good enough for you?" Deadpool says, sounding impatient. "Just go say something, watch."

He reaches out to the cursor, which is still hovering peacefully in the air, and says one word: 

**BUTTS.**

The word hangs in the air, and the cursor skips down to the next line.

**PENIS.**

"Okay, that's enough," says Steve. "If you're really talking to someone, they might not be comfortable with vulgar language."

"If there's one thing I never liked about Captain America, it's that you're a massive prude," Deadpool says, reluctantly taking his hand away from the cursor. "Still respect you, though. You do you, big guy."

"Thanks," Steve says politely, and steps forward. He reaches out hesitantly to touch the cursor.

**Hello. I’m Captain America. Perhaps you've heard of me?**

"Of course they have," Deadpool says. "I specifically found a fic that has all three of us in it, so they know me and Buckeroo here too."

Bucky ignores the stupid nickname. "Very clever," he says, because Deadpool seems to want some kind of acknowledgement. Before Steve can speak again, a faint line of grey text writes itself back beneath the last thing that he said.

_Is this some kind of joke?_

Bucky winces, but Steve isn't perturbed.

**I'm sorry to bother you. I was hoping to send a message to my fans, and I could really use your help.**

_What was with the butts earlier?_

**That was Deadpool.**

_Of course it was. What do you want me to do?_

"Get them to publish their fic with your speech in it," Deadpool hisses quickly, before Steve can reply. Steve rephrases this too:

**Can you please pass this message on to the other fans?**

_You mean, like, publish it on Tumblr?_

Steve looks at Deadpool, who nods. "I would've gone with 4chan, personally, but whatever works."

**Yes, please.**

_Ok, I'm ready._

**Hello. My name is Steve Rogers, and I am Captain America. As some of you may have heard, I recently endorsed a terrorist group known as Hydra. I want everyone to know that this endorsement was made against my will. In reality, I have never, nor will I ever, support Hydra or its affiliates. No matter what my future behaviour may imply, I believe Hydra is evil, and I will fight it to the best of my ability no matter the circumstance. I promise.**

Steve stops, letting his hand slide from the cursor. Turning to Bucky and Deadpool, he says quietly, “Do you think that’s enough?”

“Yeah,” says Bucky, and Deadpool gives a thumbs up. What more can really be said? 

The cursor moves on its own again. 

_Thank god._

Steve swallows loudly, and Bucky sees a glint of tears in his eyes. 

_I’ll tell everyone, so don’t worry._

**Thank you.**

The cursor has reached the ground now. It jumps to a new line and disappears, so whatever the person on the other side of the screen was saying, they’ll never know. Steve stares at the wall of text hanging in the air for a moment, then steps back. 

“Well, that was a fun outing,” Deadpool announces. “Let’s all go home.”

\---

Deadpool drops Steve and Bucky off at Stark Tower, opening a panel right into Steve’s living room. He warns them that Steve will have to eventually go back to the Hydra base and resume his role as triple-cross agent, or whatever the hell is going on. Bucky doesn’t care about that. He just wants a moment with Steve to himself before things go batshit insane again. 

Returning to the “real world” after being inside that white place is jarring. Instantly, it feels as if a fog has fallen over Bucky’s mind. For the space of about 2,000 words, he had felt… well, like himself. Like someone who hadn’t been twisted, tortured, and corrupted into a super-slave-soldier by a bunch of insane Nazi mercenaries. Now he feels… like he’s half-way between those two states. He wonders if it will last. He hopes it will, even if it’s cheating to make yourself better by breaking the fourth wall.

Steve is standing at the window and looking out, not saying anything, but scowling. Brooding. Bucky doesn’t like it. He comes up beside Steve and puts one hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” he says. “You okay?”

“I’m not,” Steve says. “You heard what Deadpool said. I have to go back to being a person I hate. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want to do that, Buck.”

“It’s not your fault,” Bucky says automatically. “But at least now people are gonna know that.”

“You think all the crazy things Deadpool did will actually work?” Steve says, turning to face his best friend. 

“Yes,” says Bucky, because unlike Steve his moral standards are nothing to be proud of, and he will lie through his teeth in order to make Steve feel better. Among other things. “Deadpool’s crazy, but he gets results. That’s what they tell me.”

Steve chuckles. He’s still looking a little forlorn, though, so Bucky tells himself ‘fuck it’ and gives him a hug. 

“C’mere, big guy,” he says, and Steve presses his face into the crook of Bucky’s neck, even though he’s taller. 

“No matter what other people think of you, I’ll know the truth. I’ll tell ‘em. Don’t you worry, Stevie,” Bucky says, patting Steve’s back with one hand. 

“Sometimes, Buck, I think I’m a little bit in love with you,” Steve says as he lets go. Bucky starts, but he felt it too. In between the panels. Something that couldn’t be felt in a space controlled by somebody else’s pen. 

Maybe it’s wrong, but Bucky takes Steve’s hand. They both shyly turn away, to face the window again, looking out over the city that both of them protect. Steve won’t be protecting it for a while, but Bucky can do it for him, just for a little while.

“I know, Stevie,” Bucky says. “I know.”

\---

Hey, you. Yeah, you reading this. Do you realise this fic had a fic inside of a fic? Do you know how many fourth walls I had to break to get here? You better be grateful, because it wasn’t easy, no matter how this numbnuts author makes it look. Seriously, what was this broad thinking? “Deadpool is some kind of shitty red phoenix.” Excuse me, I am a majestic as fuck phoenix. And not even mentioning my kill count? I’ll have you know I murdered 25 Hydra asshats while Captain America and Buckland Barnacles were having a touching little moment. Yep. You heard me. Twenty fucking five. Two oh five. That takes skill, people. And another thing, why does ol’ Burkle Burnes get to be the point-of-view character? I think I deserve a nice piece of star-spangled ass too, don’t you? Aww, shit the word count’s running out. How the fuck does that even work? Go watch my movie, motherfu

**Author's Note:**

>  **If anyone wants to help out Captain America, here are some ways you can do it** :  
> -Contact the Marvel office with [these emails](http://marvel.com/help/category/17)  
> -Go on Twitter and tell Nick Spencer to shut the fuck up with #marvel, #hydracap, etc. (I'm assuming you know more about Twitter than I do since I don't actually have one)  
> -Donate money to a Holocaust foundation and forward the receipt to Marvel  
> These ideas are borrowed from [this here post](http://rockscanfly.tumblr.com/post/144986453437/okay-so-because-this-fucking-bullshit-happened-a), if you want more info.
> 
> Ok in case anyone is wondering who this Nick Spencer guy is and why I hate him so much, he's the guy who writes the Captain America comic books. I know that more people than just him are responsible for this debacle, but I like having someone to pin the blame on, so you'll excuse me for indulging myself. Frankly, this entire fic is nothing but self-indulgence, so if you were looking for something other than that, you've come to the wrong place.
> 
> Comments always welcome!!


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